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Pervious Captains Corners

03.08.2005

Here we are again, stuck in the rat-waste laden mud of the trenches which are our lives. The beginning of a new season brings the hope of a total victory over the Huns or a machine gun riddled death. The mustard gas is in the air and I am ready for the no-mans-land run at the enemy.

I called one of those psychic hotlines and got the following predictions for the season:

Gil will be the team scoring leader (you supply the definition).

Skip will play in 50% of all game times.

Sean/Saen/Sane/Puffy/Patto/Patio will change his name at least one time during the season.

Ted will get into at least two fights with Ben (each will win one).

Martin will get a more developed nickname (moving up from "Baby" to "Toddler").

I will get married and divorced before play-offs.

Taco will get a watch that is 15 minutes fast and will let Toby use it.

All the new players will get nicknames and criminal records.

Scuba will get a modeling contract for hand cream and Rogaine.

Chris will produce candid photos of his new wife.

Phil, Luis, and Kevin will need Skip's legal advice (in no specific order).

Craig Tull will have a tragic Kiln accident.

We will have fewer injuries than losses (I don?t know if this is good or bad).

We will have a glorious run to victory in the play-offs with every team counting us out early in the season.

We will have at least one game where a supermodel will come watch.

I'm not quite sure if I can trust these predictions since the credit card number I used was stolen.
Psychics should know this, shouldn't they?

Gaffer
Lonnie James III