Late night I awake to the sounds of the marmot eating at my brain. . .

God gave the people Ten Commandments. (I guess if you were politically correct, you would say the Judeo-Christian God. Well, If this bothers you, have fun burning in whatever hell your god has created) He gave them to Moses on stone tablets. These are not negotiable. Break them and set yourself up for potential damnation. Don't mess with God. A philosopher named Murphy came up with a Law. This explains the messiness of life. If it is bad, it will happen. It works at the most inopportune times on the whims of fate. This let's you feel better at the mistakes you have chosen for yourself.

I have come up with the truths of Riverside. There are only five because I haven't come up with more. (I only have five toes on each foot) Since this weekend we are going to the state tournament, we should probably review these in order for optimum success:

1. Skip is Lord.
   Probably goes without saying. No one else wants the job of putting up with us. Just thank him for his letting us bask in the glow of his greatness. ( at least until you pay him for the tournament) So let it be written, so let it be done.
   
   
2. If we hit, we win.
   There should be fear every time we walk onto the pitch. Other teams should look at us and then crap themselves like monkeys at the zoo. Their women should swoon, their children should cry, cattle should stampede. If we hit early, we can avoid the holiday rush. We give beatings and take victories. Blessed be the name of the Riverside.
   
   
3. Old and smart, beats young and athletic.
   We win by actions and not words. We hit, we tell them they suck, and then we hit someone else. We hold them in distain. They do not deserve our words of truth even if they were smart enough to understand or respond. We speak only to amuse ourselves. They are only props in our drama. Everyone on the same page, into the breach, crush the weak. The body of Riverside.
   
   
4. Beer tastes good.
   Anyone can eat grain. Duh.
   Riverside be with you.
   
   
5. We win with numbers.
   Commitment has always been the key. One ant can't do crap. Ten million ants can build a cathedral to Riverside. In the name of Riverside, the gods of soccer, and the holy Beer, Amen